If we do not first know that God loves us in our ugliness, we cannot fully understand His love in our beauty.
~my random thought for this day

This is where I begin when I speak to the youth God brings across my path. God LOVES you beyond measure. He can see beyond your pimples and your messy hair and your broken and sinful heart. He sees the good that He created in you and He sees the bad that needs to be washed in the blood of His son. But He sees you and He loves you. 

This may seem like a simple message but it is the hardest to believe when you have not felt unconditional love. To the young man who cannot look at himself in the mirror because he has been told that no one will love a face like his - God loves you just the way you are...HE created you in His image. To the young man whose family has given up on him because he has failed one too many times - God loves you and He will NEVER abandon you. To the young woman who only hears the voices of the men walking past her on the street and cannot grasp that she is worth much more than the words they spew at her - God loves you. In fact He dances over you and delights in you and will deliver you from evil men.

This is the beginning of the work. Until this is planted and has taken root, nothing else can grow. And it takes time and a lot of weeding and cultivating to get this buried deep into the heart. So when one of these young ones looks you in the eye and declares "I am deeply loved by God," you know you are ready to begin the next chapter.

Prayer time after Bible Study at Monday's Youth Night

A couple of weeks ago as I was spending time with God, I was inspired to put into words my purpose here in Clarkston. Write it down. Make it plain. This is what I was hearing. So that afternoon, I sat and crafted a Vision Statement for my life at Proskuneo.

                                                         VISION STATEMENT

I believe that God has placed me at Proskuneo Ministries to work with youth and young adults who are seeking to define their calling, their ministry and their outreach as worshippers and artists.
I believe that God has given me two strong gifts that are useful in this ministry – discernment and encouragement. I believe that these gifts bring balance and clarity to the work.

The Goals:

Connecting young people with:

1. the truth that God loves them beyond measure. (Jeremiah 31:2-3)
2. the assurance that they can know God intimately. (John 10:27-29)
3. their own courage and fortitude within to help them take positive steps toward becoming the person God created them to be. (Joshua 1:7-9)
4. the people and resources that will assist in taking them from “I want to…”, to “I think I can…”, to “I am…”. (Ephesians 4:11-16)

The Plan:

1. As a teacher and facilitator, providing opportunities for youth to come together for training and encouragement and growth in the arts and in the Word of God. (Proskuneo Worship Institute, PSOTA Youth Night, PWI 180, etc.)
2. As an equipper and a mentor, connecting with individual youth for discipleship through whatever venue. (One-on-one mentoring, ESL tutoring, etc.)
3. As a supporter and an advocate, becoming involved with community and church leaders to learn, to train, to motivate, and to involve them with the youth around them.

In Clarkston and through the programs of Proskuneo Ministries, my mission field is the world. I believe that as we empower one young person, we reach everyone within their scope. I believe these young people have the ability to change the culture in their homes, their schools, their churches, their communities, and their world for the glory of God.

​

NEEDS THIS MONTH

1. I need to raise enough support to cover health insurance and rent. God has been good to me this far, but there are some health issues that should not go unchecked. Please pray for new partners to join me as I invest my life here in Clarkston.

2. My father has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and is beginning to struggle with memory loss. He is also falling quite a bit and needs some extra care. He does not want to move so I am attempting to get him the care he needs so he can stay in his current home. This is difficult to do long-distance so I covet your prayers for strength and fortitude to face these decisions head on.

TODAY:
I am learning a lot about my heart these days. I am learning that I am not always as weak as I think I am. I am learning that I am not always as strong as I think I am. I am learning to let go. I am learning to trust. 

Today's message at church was a seal placed over something that God has been speaking to heart these past few weeks. You see, God has had me on a journey. And this journey is teaching me to let go of the things. I have realized that I have a "scarcity" mentality. I worry what will happen "if" I let go of something...I am looking through a lens that has been distorted to believe that God doesn't have enough to take care of me. But if His promises are true, then I need not worry about these things. 

Matthew 6:25-30

25 Therefore I say unto you, be not anxious for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than the food, and the body than the raiment?

26 Behold the birds of the heaven, that they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; and your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are not ye of much more value then they?

27 And which of you by being anxious can add one cubit unto the measure of his life?

28 And why are ye anxious concerning raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:

29 yet I say unto you, that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

30 But if God doth so clothe the grass of the field, which to-day is, and to-morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

WHAT'S NEXT?
In just a few days, I am going to be living by faith and not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7) I will be leaving my job at Georgia Perimeter College and stepping into the known unknown. I will be leaving the house that I rent and will be moving into a room. I have high expectations of this room. I am looking for a sanctuary to which I can come home at the end of a long day. I am looking at the gift of space and time to do what I am called to do. I KNOW that God is with me. I KNOW that He will continue to bring people alongside me to undergird the ministry He is doing here in Clarkston. I KNOW that He has more for me to do. I KNOW that my heart is here, my home is here, my passion is here. The unknown does not frighten me. I am ready to bring the light into the darkness.

I still need partners who believe that what I am doing is worthwhile. I need people who see the need here and are willing to help me be their hands and feet. God has asked me "Becky - do you love me?" Then "feed my lambs." Would you please walk with me?

I have three major needs this month.

1. A computer. The one that I use belongs to my work and I will be leaving it behind when I go. You can comment below or email me (becky@proskuneo.org) if you are able to help in this area.

2. One-time support for a missions trip. I am part of a missions team to the Dominican Republic. I still need around $600 to make this trip. Deadline is May 15th. To give, click on the link below. In the special instructions section, please note BECKY-DR so that these funds will be directed toward the missions trip.

3. Ongoing partnership with me as I walk as a missionary here in Clarkston. Monthly gifts can be set up at the following link.No gift is too small. I am grateful for your encouragement!

Thank you for your prayers. Thank you to those who already support me on this journey. Thank you to the rest of you who are reading this for considering how you can help.

My heart. My home. My passion.

Becky

The word passport has been on my heart this week. Not the kind of passport that you hold in your hand and give to the officer who is clearing you for travel to another country. Passport – the kind that God gives you that opens doors and paves the way for you to do things you have never dreamed. This week there were a few passport moments along the way. I will share just a few.

Yesterday I was sitting in a worship service for those we call “second generation culture.” I was not a part of this event, but I had asked to go because these are the students that I work with and my boss was leading worship. Josh let me come as his guest. When the speaker started sharing I knew why I was there. He was helping me to gain perspective on the passport I have felt in my life this week. There are days when I feel like I am “out of my own skin” because I don’t fit in the roles God has called me to. The teacher was speaking about the “buts” of Moses. I have asked every single one of these questions, often multiple times a day.

WHO AM I? (Exodus 3:11)

I do not have a college degree. I did attend college but found it a bit constraining for me so I did not finish. I know you probably don’t want me telling your kids that. But here is what I would tell them. Learn ALL that you can. Learn how to learn with your senses. Learn how to learn by experience. Learn how to drink in everything around you and weigh it against what you know about God. And if you don’t know much about God, start there with your learning! I will also probably tell them to finish college because in these times it is almost essential to have those letters behind your name. Who knows, I might even go back to college myself one of these days. But, with passion, I digress.

As I said, I did not graduate from college. But this week I was given two opportunities to walk into a classroom on a college campus and share my faith and my journey with around fifty students. We talked about immigration and refugee resettlement and life and obstacles and service. And I was blessed to be standing somewhere I didn’t belong. I was blessed to be serving God in a place where I was not supposed to be talking about Him. I was blessed that God used me to shift hearts. I was granted passport.

WHAT SHALL I TELL THEM? (Exodus 3:13)

I am a rather shy person. Perhaps the correct word is inhibited. Being social does not come easily to me. It takes a lot of fear, and tears, and strength to step outside of the me that likes to sit back and watch the room, make sure it is secure, and then step into the group dynamic. A few short years ago, I would not have dreamed of stepping into a room and walking straight to the front and leading anything. I know that I have a story. And I know that I have a lot of life experiences from which I can share. But this is why I write. It is far easier for me to be behind the pen or a keyboard tapping out the words. But over the past few years, I have learned to say yes to opportunity. Monday night I led our youth night at the Proskuneo School of the Arts. I have invested time in them and because of this, they have given me passport to speak truth into their lives.

WHAT IF THEY DO NOT BELIEVE ME? (Exodus 4:1)

This week I was able to probe and get answers to a difficult situation for a student in one of our local high school students who needed help. I am not a family member or a counselor and there is no reason why these school officials should talk with me. But there is someone Who goes before me and I was given passport. And now this student can take the next step of his journey.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN ELOQUENT (Exodus 4:10)

I had the opportunity to sit with a dear friend the other night and ask some tough questions about life. Strong words are never easy but they go better with a large dose of trust. My friend gives me passport because he knows I will not judge him in the midst of his struggle. He gives me passport because he knows I pray for him and care deeply about him getting to a better place. He gives me passport because the words are not as important as the relationship.

CAN YOU SEND SOMEONE ELSE? (Exodus 4:13)

Almost every Saturday I get to walk into a room full of amazing friends from Burma. The first few times I went I was so nervous. I knew that my life was about to change, but I didn’t know why God was taking me down this road. Now we break bread together. We open the word of God together. We sing together. They let me come to be with them so I can learn their language and their culture. We are learning together – what makes us laugh, what makes us cry, what makes us proud, what brings us shame. This week at church we had a visitor from Burma. He is the songwriter who wrote one of the few songs that I sing in their language. I was asked to come and sing the song while he was with us. What a privilege to have this moment with another songwriter from another land. Passport. I have been given passport into a world that is not my own but is fast becoming more familiar and less foreign. And I would no longer think of asking God to send someone in my place.

I realize that every day that I wake up is a gift and every door that is opened is an opportunity. I could not walk where I am walking without passport. You give me passport by supporting me along the way with your prayers and your gifts. You give me passport by inviting me to share my passion with people who you know can benefit from hearing about the fire I have for what I do. Thank you.

photo credit Kim No

Tonight I sat in a room full of youth from Clarkston at the Proskuneo School of the Arts. It is how I spend every Monday night. It is where I gain strength!

In the room with me tonight were three young people from Burma, a young man from the Ivory Coast, a young girl from Fiji, a young man from the Democratic Republic of Congo, a young African American man, and a Sudanese American girl. The rest of us were part of the Proskuneo Team. What do we all have in common? The blood of Christ which saved us from ourselves. I cannot begin to tell you what happens in my heart in that room. A taste of heaven as these young people study God’s Word together. A glimpse of God’s face as we raise our voices and play our instruments for His glory. And a touch of His heart as we pray together for one another.

Here is what a couple of the students said on the way home tonight.
            “I really like what we get to do on Monday nights. It helps me to know how to live the
            rest of the time. It gives me something to think about.”

            “Oh, I really have fun tonight. And I am happy that we read the Bible together.”

We have laughed together. We have cried together. We have grown together. I wish each one of you could come and sit in the room just one time. They would welcome you and enjoy your presence. There is no pretense in this room. There are only precious people.

Your prayers and financial support are undergirding me in this work.  This is just one of the things I do. You are allowing me to reach out to keep a few of these kids safe. The world tries to pull them in. And we are choosing to pull back. Each of them are worth the investment.

Thanks to your prayers and your gifts, I am 31 % funded. I hope to be at 50% by the end of May as I leave my “day” job and start working full-time. Of course, 100% funded is the goal. Please continue to pray with me as we work together for that goal.

All for His glory,
Becky

People have asked me why I don’t do a Kick-Starter or Go-Fund-Me campaign to build up the resources to step into full-time ministry. I think crowd-sourcing is a great way to raise monies for album projects, start-up businesses, and even missions trips. But I don’t think they fit was I believe God has in store for me. I would like to explain my point of view.

The "Maombi Effect"

You see, three years ago I met my young friend, Maombi. He is from the Congo and lives in Clarkston. Our students from the Proskuneo Worship Institute were doing outreach in his apartment complex and that is where I met him. He came up to me and said “I will miss you when you go.” I didn’t understand at the time. We had just met and this seemed like such an odd thing to say. But as I sat there watching, God spoke to my heart and it became clear.

In a town like Clarkston, everything is rather transitory. People come and go. Each year refugees are brought in from around the world. They work hard to make a new life in a new land and, as soon as they are able, they move out of Clarkston to a “better” location.

Ministry is also a little transient in nature. There are ministries that have deep roots and make powerful and lasting impact on the community. But there is also a lot of ministry that is fleeting. Teams come in for a weekend or a week and then they are gone. These teams are often a great help as they bring much-needed services to an under-served population. Things like dental care, and medical check-ups, and honest tax preparation are greatly appreciated. But to build relationship and discipleship, you must remain. It was in the weeks that followed my encounter with Maombi that God began to move my heart toward Clarkston with a vow that I was in it for the long-haul, whatever that meant.

Relationship Is Long-Term

The other day I was reflecting on where I am in relation to where I have been. In January I sat at the Karen New Year celebration and realized that it was my third. The first year I walked in, I was shaking. I had been invited by one young man who had been attending the Proskuneo School of the Arts (PSOTA). This year I had been invited by at least four young friends and was greeted by many more as I walked through the doors. We now know each other by name because we live and do life together in the same small town.

I am currently tutoring a young man I met in the fall of 2012. I have walked alongside him as he has walked with God. I have chased after him in prayer as he has walked away from God. And three years later I get to sit across the table from him declaring together the things that God is doing in his life. It takes time.

Growing A Ministry Doesn’t Happen Overnight

In 2011 we walked the halls at Chestnut Grove Baptist Church during PWI. We were envisioning a day when we might be able to expand PWI. We were dreaming about opening a music school in Clarkston. In 2012 PSOTA opened its doors. Three years later we are serving over 120 students each week. And this year, 2015, I am joining the staff of Proskuneo Ministries as the full-time director for the Proskuneo Worship Institute. We are preparing to launch PWI 180 – an internship/training program that will operate year-round.

It has taken three to four years to build relationships, to get the foundations laid, and to do the work to bring us to this point. I have already been doing it. I am already in it long-term. And rather than doing a speedy fundraising campaign, I am asking for people to partner with me in the same kind of commitment. 

• 30 people/families
• $50 per month
• One year commitment

Would you consider this opportunity? I am willing to be the hands and feet in the trenches but I need partners who will hand me the shovel. If you are willing, would you please send me an email at becky@proskuneo.org or click on the CONTACT button above and let me know you are on the team!

For those of you who already support me, can you think of one person in your life who might have a heart for supporting the work in Clarkston? Would you share my story?

Thank you for taking the time to read and pray. I am blessed by you.

At Proskuneo School of the Arts we host a Monday night youth gathering each week. It is a place where we are beginning to break through some walls and have some powerful conversations. This is one of the highlights of my week. The last few weeks have been especially fun as we have celebrated the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons. Our students are from around the world and many speak more than one language. The other night we recorded the Christmas story from Luke Chapter 2. There are at least seven different languages represented in this video. Take in the story. Enjoy "meeting" some of our students.

When times get tough, our natural instinct is to run. We want to get as far away from the trouble as we can. We retreat into our safe nest that we have built away from the bustling crowds. We change our tune so that we won’t be discordant with the world around us. And we question why God would allow these circumstances to happen.

I hesitated to tell you the events of this week, but then I went to church this morning. Our guest speaker’s topic was “Living as a Missionary.” He and his family heard God’s call to plant a church in a neighborhood of Atlanta and so they sold and packed up their possessions and headed to their new life. I felt a kinship with them since this is what I did just last year.

Some of my friends rejoiced loudly when I decided to relocate because they had seen God moving in my life and recognized that it was not an “if”, but rather a “when.” However, my move to Clarkston was not applauded by everyone I knew. Some applauded, but also worried about my safety. And others thought I had lost my mind. In reality, it was not my mind that I lost, but rather my heart that I gave away. I have lived many years. I have fought against God and I have worked alongside Him. I can tell you from experience that the latter is a better choice.

Last week on Tuesday, I launched this ministry website. It was my formal declaration to the world at large that I am here and I want to serve God “all out.” Last week on Wednesday I came home for lunch and found that someone had broken into my house. I was shaken for a short time. As everyone who has ever experienced this will tell you, it makes you feel a little vulnerable. But it was not long until grief was the emotion that rose to the top. As the detective was dusting for prints and taking pictures of the “crime scene” I found myself sad to think that these thieves were more than likely some of the very kids that I feel like I have been sent here to serve.

I have been proclaiming for months now that I believe that God is sovereign over my life – whether I live or whether I die and whether I do either of those things while in my car driving down a street or staring into the face of thugs who don’t know Jesus. My life and my death are not in my hands. In the first moments, even before I called the police, I found myself thanking God that I was not at home when they came. God knew. I was taken by surprise, but He was not.

Today as I reflected on circumstances, God reminded me of Peter. In the book of John we read how Peter reacted when the going got tough. The soldiers were looking for Jesus. He was a wanted man. As Peter stood there warming his hands by the fire, trying to blend in, he had to make a hard choice. Would he face his accusers and see what happened next? Or would he lie and try to save his neck? We all know what he chose. He denied Christ – not once, but three times. It would be easy to blame Peter for his response, but how many times have I walked away from what God has called me to just because it got hard?

A few chapters later we find the risen Christ and Peter near the Sea of Galilee.

“Simon son of John (Peter), do you love me?” Jesus asks.
“Yes, Lord, you know I love you.”
“Feed my lambs,” Jesus replies.

Three times. It is as if God is letting Peter redeem each time that he denied knowing Jesus back in chapter 18.  

“Simon son of John, do you love me?”
“Yes Lord, you know that I love you.”
“Take care of my sheep.”
“Simon son of John, do you love me?”
“Lord, you know all things. You know that I love you.”
“Feed my sheep.”

My conversation this week could have looked like this:

“Should I only feed the ones that are clean?“
“Feed them when they are dirty.”
“Should I only feed them when they are on the right path?”
“Feed them when they are lost.”
“Should I only feed the compliant and righteous ones?”
“Feed them when they are wayward and sinful.”

God has given me a directive. Care. Love. Pray. Teach. It is interesting how doors have swung open this week. I lost a few things, a few precious things, in the robbery. But I have gained perspective and insight on the world into which God has called me. There have been conversations that have opened my eyes. He is showing me things in the physical realm. He is showing me things in the spiritual realm. I am taking it all in and I am standing strong.

Thank you for your prayers for my protection and safety as I continue to feed His lambs.

When I look into a person's eyes I see a story. The eyes are the window to the soul ~ where a person has come from, what they are walking through today, and where they hope their journey will take them. When they are willing to share their story, I am honored. It gives me the opportunity to share how God has orchestrated my story to intersect with theirs ~ my soul story. And that opens the door to sharing His story ~ the greatest story ever told.